And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
