Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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