I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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