yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
