great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
