Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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