Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize