Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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