If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
