She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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