Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
