I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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