READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize