at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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