What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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