My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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