so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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