Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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