Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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