Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
im six kinds of drunk right now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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