It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My pussy is not your playground.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
