So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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