We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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