I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
