my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
