the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
