Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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