He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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