is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
please don't ironically join a cult
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