Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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