ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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