She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
