so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
