im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
