If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
