I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
