Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize