She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
