Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
