I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
