what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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