This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
