All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
