I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
