Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize