I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
