did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Come see our sink grown plant.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
