If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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