hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
