how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Bring me that man meat
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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