Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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