dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
