I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
