these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
