I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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