I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
