Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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