Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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