so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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