the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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