Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
