It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
