everyone is single if you try hard enough
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
