I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
