She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize