Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
