I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
