i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize