im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
