90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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