I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
