what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
