make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
