I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Come see our sink grown plant.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
