even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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