Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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